Today Today Today

TODAY was a great day.

Disregard what I said yesterday. TODAY confirmed my theory that it was all in my head. It was all in my head! Silly silly me.

I need to be a nicer person. From now on, I shall aim to: (oh please don't think I'm a horrible person when I say these things)

1. Make less fat people jokes.

2. Not say the word 'dyke' it is highly offensive and politically incorrect...

3. Not get angry every time someone says something about Drama being a bludge subject and that Maths is the way to go.

4. Not make so many sexual innuendos (in your endo!) ... or talk blatantly about sex... just because I don't picture what I say, doesn't mean that everyone else in earshot does.

5. Talk less in History

6. Be less critical of myself and others.

Speaking of being critical......................

Meredith:

(on red heads) No really, I may sound horrible. But have you ever met one you could trust? Look, I'm not really a horrible person, I swear. Just because I'm prejudiced against people who wear runners with jeans, people who wear polo shirts, tartan, scottish people and red heads does not mean I'm a bad person! These are all understandable and valid things.

Hehe I love Meredith. She is wonderful, she is.

Hope everyone is having a nice day,

Livi/Lisa

Is it all in my head?

After the first bout of critisism (I was already quite self concious and nervous and tense already, thank you so very much) I could not let the tiniest comment go by without analysing it to death and finally deciding how negative everything was. I somehow thought this is what everyone thought of me. Is it all in my head?
Seriously, this is getting out of hand, I think I am LOOKING for things that aren't there now.
For example: (there may be many)

1.
I was very nervous during my monologue, so I swore. (One or two other people included curses in their monologue too). I misinterpreted the exercise so when I got there I had to completely improvise it. In the routine discussion afterward, Emily said, "I think that people use swearing and it just lets down their performance." something to that effect. That couldn't have been a personal attack, could it? I am going insane?

2.
Another drama lesson.
Elenie: How did your ushering job go?
Me: Oh... I got there late but I didn't know and--
Ylaria: *strolling past, leaning in to talk to Elenie* she got there one hour late...
Elenie: Oh really??

3.
At my ushering job, Ernie told me to clean the back stairs which was not even technically an usher's job because you know, they're the back stairs and no one goes up the back stairs because they are part of the STAFF ROOM, not the theatre. Also, said Ernie, the cleaners refused to touch them. Geez, thanks. Out of all the ushers, and on CLOSING NIGHT, no less. Now I just sound like a brat but I need somewhere to vent.

4.
At Drama again, Peter looks like he's finally going to praise me. He looks up with a great big smile (yes, this does look creepy) and says, "Oh and Lisa, can I just say..." I hold my breath, wondering what the hell will come out... the whole class has his attention...

Peter: Can I just say what a wonderful job you did on the stairs!
Me: *not quite registering... what great thing did I do on stairs... I walked up and down stairs in my last monologue... no.. wait... he can only mean... OH FOR FUCKSSAKE. NOT THE FUCKING STAIRS IN NUMBER 3. JESUS.* Oh right! The stairs! *quick smile and it's gone. Class, please do not look at me.*
Blair: Haha yeah great job on the Stairs!
Emily: Now if you fail as an actor you'd make a great cleaner!

Oh please I want to die. I kinda still do.

5.
Had long talk to Griffin on bus to civic and Bryce... it was a very interesting conversation and it was fun. But then the more I thought about it afterwards the more I convinced myself they thought I was an idiot.

Anyway, that is just a few.
Thanks to this class I am shoving the books about Stanislavski down my throat (because he seems to be the person my teacherin a desperate attempt not to look like an idiot, because I am not an idiot. They just make me feel like one and they can't win and ruin my life and my self confidence because I won't let them. At the same time, I feel awful and stupid. And I feel awful and stupid for not giving up. But if I do give up I'll feel awfuller and stupider. Its a doozy.

Its been such a weird week.

Oh deary me it's the weekend.

I can hardly keep my eyes open and I'm off in about half an hour to forty five minutes to usher for a play.
Do you think Cary Bradshaw (sex and the city) ever ushered for a play? Do you think Cary Bradshaw was ever into Drama? She probably dated musicians. I love that show so much. I think one day I'll be a writer like Cary.

Speaking (or writing) of musicians, Kaity Waity and I were at Better Music and I found a really nice Ibanez S Series tremolo guitar. Sah-weet-ah! Its really nice and he said he'd do it for under a grand - twas originally around $1200. Anyway, I accidentally was there playing it for around half an hour. The amp that the guitar was rigged up to had three switches: Clean, Distortion and INSANE. Then we went up stairs and Kaity Waity played the classical guitars (one was worth $3500).

I found out yesterday that Nerd Boy's name was Adam, not that I have actually seen him. He's in my history class and I still can't pin point him. Must ask Meredith.

Me: Do you think Nerd Boy does photography? I mean, if he's sooo into it.
Mer: Pft. Probably not. If he's part of the Australian Photographer's Association like he says he is then hes probably too good. Ew let's not talk about him. He's gross.

Hannah has new friends and one of them is Mic Mac.

I miss melbourne and most of its inhabitants, the shopping, the pretty houses and train stations.
Have a good weekend everyone :)

x Lisa

A blog - As if I need any more distractions

Tomorrow is monday, which is the first day of the week. This means I have drama after lunch. Actor, Director, Text drama to be precise.
I hope I get through it with some sort of praise... or at least it would be nice to do something right.

I'm feeling a bit like Bridget Jones at the moment.

Must Do :

• Get incredibly awesome at drama and cop no shit from Mr.ILikeToAbuseChildren
• Start on assignments - start English

"I've decided to e-migrate to another blog hoster just for a change. You're still welcome to post here if you like but what i really want for my BIRTHDAY (in a couple of weeks) is for people to make and maintain blogs for me and other people to read, preferably at Blogspot. Cause you're such entertaining fun fun fun in the sun people and there should be some record pleeeeeeeeease. My Space doesn't count because I don't like it. Please?? it will be the best birthday present.
ESPECIALLY if your name is:

- Hannah "Hammy" Keal
- Jasmine "Frodo" Cooke
- Ingrid "Is Pretty Awesome" Barnes
- Lucy "I haven't sent you frankie and by rights i shouldn't be asking you anything cause i'm a hopeless slacker its a miracle i'm not a pot smoking hippie bundah kid because i'm such a slacker and i know it and am not doing anything about it anyway rah rah rah I'M SORRY AND ETERNALLY IN YOUR DEBT" Higgie
- Katie "Waity" Jepson
- Kate "katie-pops" Backhouse
- Meredith "Mer mer" Foster (oh and you need to get an email address too)
- Lauren "Yoo-Hoo" Catchlove
- Julia "Woolsy" Macie

you better join me, muthafuckaz."

I hope this works.

Here's to my first post,

Lisa